and I don't know why, I can't take my eyes off of you.

I don't think that passenger seat has ever looked this good to me. He tells me about his night as I count the colors in his eyes. He'll never fall in love, he swears as he runs his fingers through his hair. I'm laughin' cause I hope he's wrong. And I could tell you his favorite color's green. He loves to argue; born on the seventeenth. His sister's beautiful. He has his his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie. He looks around the room; innocently overlooks the truth. Shouldn't a light go on? Doesn't he know? I've had him memorized for so long. He sees everything black and white; never lets nobody see him cry. I don't let nobody see me wishin' he was mine.

* * *

Boy meets girl, and the rest is history, right? Man, Laura, what is it with you and TI boys? Master, Vince... No, Britt. They don't like me.

Facebook: top 5 albums of all time.. 1, 2, 3, shinedown, avenged sevenfold.. you are amazing just for those last two. at least somebody has good taste in music.

So, me, Britt and Sigh went to camp Friday night. Not to TI, just to Camp Mason, where TI is held every summer. We went for a volunteer work weekend to get the camp all ready for the summer. And, who happens to be there but Vince. It's a Justin situation. Just that.. when I first saw you, I already knew feeling. I dunno. I was never like YES. I LIKE THIS BOY. More like eventually, if I wanted to, I could fall for him. But.. I didn't want to. Scratch that. I DON'T want to. I haven't. Yet.

God I'm confusing. So Friday night a bunch of us were talking and hanging out outside our cabin. That included me, Britt, Sigh and Vince. And, he reminds me of Joey. When he was in like, eighth grade. Same attitude, sense of humor. His voice even sounds remotely similar. But, he's my age. And he's adorable. When I friended him on facebook, there was just something. I'm gonna be good friends with this kid.

Saturday/yesterday, before lunch, the three of us went up to our cabin to chill. Vince came up to sleep, but came into our room instead to talk. Sigh and I were telling him and Britt about how she bruised her arm getting off her bunk Friday night. We said how we agreed that she'd turn off the lights on Kendra's half of the cabin (Britt asked why Kendra couldn't turn them off and Sigh said "she said 'but she's reading', referring to me.) and I would finish what I was doing and go turn off our lights. Britt asked what I was reading.

Me: I wasn't reading, I was writing.

Vince: What do you write? Songs, stories, poems..

Anything.

*proceeds to tell me about how he writes plays and short stories and then tells me that he'll invite me to the group on facebook where he posts all his stuff.*

When we decided that we should go down to get food before we had to start working again, Vince was like wait, come here and he brought us into the guys room.

Laura, come sit on my bed. *pats spot right next to him*

Why?

I'm not gonna do anything, just sit.

I sat and noticed how freaking comfy it was, and he showed us that he had brought the foam matting from his bed at home. Then Britt sat down on the end of the bed (me and Vince were on the side) and I put my head on her knee, lay down and said "good night." He laid down and threw his arm over me. Then got up. Then Britt got up, and he like, attacked me. He like threw his arms around me, knocking me to the bed, and like, hugging me like, super tight. Then we got up, and the four of us went to walk out, but he walked the other way. Then he appeared next to me with his hood on, looking down saying would this creep you out?

We went to get food, and on the line he was making fun of my shortness.

After lunch, me, Britt, Sigh and Caitlin (who had just gotten there) went up to our room to chill since none of us were in the mood to work. Too tired.

My mom came a couple hours later and when the three of us went outside to leave, Vince and friends were sitting on the steps.

Laura, are you leaving?

yeah.

*gets up* none of you can leave yet.

He hugged me. Real tight. Then hugged Britt and Sigh. I tried to see if he hugged them as tight, but I couldn't tell. Walking away, Britt and Sigh both go, "he likes you." When I denied it Britt was like, "you didn't see his face when he hugged you. it was like *makes face of extreme happiness*" Then, in the car with my mom, they decided to tell her that he likes me. And when I denied it again they both went, at the same time "YOU DIDN'T SEE HIS FACE!"

I don't want to like him..

And I don't.

And if I keep telling myself that, maybe I won't.

But this is the same way it happened with Justin and Kevin. It figures that I see the three most significant guys in my life in this situation. Joey.. Justin.. Kevin. Ugh. This is exactly how it happened with Kevin. I tried to stop myself from liking him, but certain people insisted that he liked me, he did some things that made me think so, and eventually.. yeah. And with Justin, as soon as I saw him, I knew I was gonna end up liking him. But I tried so, so hard not to. But, I did anyway. I hate comparing. Especially things like this. But, I can't help it.

* * *

Matt likes me. Still, again, I'm not sure which. But, it's the Joey situation all over again. Except this time, I'm the Joey. But, I'm just gonna act like nothing's different. I don't want to feel weird, and I don't want him to feel weird. I just.. I kinda wish he wouldn't tell me every time he likes me. I'd so much rather not know.

* * *

I told Elizabeth about Vince. She thinks he likes me. She's like, super excited for me. Why she's so excited, I don't know. But she is. And she told Brian a little bit. I told her she could. She just told him that I might like someone who might like me. I told him I'd clarify it later on. I was supposed to go to his house today, but he wasn't feeling good.

I'm not gonna tell anyone else, though. Britt and Sigh know cause, well, they decided it. Elizabeth knows cause she's the one that actually verbalized the fact that Matt likes me last night. Brian cause, he's my like, biff. But I'm not gonna tell like Candice or Amanda, and I'm not gonna tell Tiff, Michelle or Aylin. I'm not gonna tell them anything. But I'm not gonna tell Britt and Sigh I might like him back, because I don't want them to be like HAH. TOLD YOU SO. And if nothing comes of it, I don't want people to be like oohh, bummer. So, I'm sticking with Brian and Elizabeth cause a) they're my two best friends and b) they won't say anything if nothing happens.

* * *

Matt asked me out again last night. Sorta. He asked if I'd give him a chance. But, that'd be completely unfair to both of us, and I told him that. To me because I don't like him like that, and I'd have no chance with Vince in that case. And to him because it'd be entirely out of sympathy, and I'd be a terrible girlfriend. And.. I just don't wanna date him.

* * *

Gah. I don't wanna wait until April 18th. I wanna seeeeee him again. I just wanna know. It's killing me, and it's only been a day! Maybe, though, if I don't talk to him again until then (not like I'm gonna try to avoid him, though), I won't like him due to lack of communication and then we can just be friends. That'd be awesome.

* * *

And it's now 11:07 and I gotta pee and I should sleep cause my head hurts and I have to wake up in 7ish hours.

* * *

And I could tell you, his favorite color's green. He loves to argue; born on the seventeenth. His sister's beautiful. He has his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie. He stands there, then walks away. My God, if I could only say, I'm holding every breath for you. He'd never tell you, but he can play guitar. I think he can see through everything but my heart. First thought when I wake up is my God, he's beautiful. So I put on my make-up and pray for a miracle. And I could tell you, his favorite color's green. He loves to argue, oh, and it kills me. His sister's beautiful. He has his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him - if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie.