What do you say to taking chances?

You confuse me. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure how I feel about you. It was simple when she was head over heels for you - I couldn't like you. So I didn't. It's always easier to stop myself when someone else can get hurt. But now that my feelings are the only ones at risk, well, I can't stop myself from wanting you just the same way she did. I've never gotten mixed signals from anyone as much as I have from you. I really wish I just knew. I'd rather have you come up to me and say, "Not a chance," than to keep wondering like this. It's killing me. Last night in the car, I kept hoping we wouldn't get back to town. Hoping the clock would stop and we'd drive on forever. I've never been as close to you. I love how she gave me an excuse to lean on you like that. I'm not sure if she knew what she was doing. I doubt it. But just the fact that you didn't try shifting away made me smile.

"Here comes my favorite part!" Haha, yeah. That was my favorite part too. Cause, hey, you got even closer. You're so confusing. Every time I see you you make it seem like there's something there. Picking on me, randomly looking over at me, messing up my chair, trying to block me from getting in the pool, high fiving me for things like going to the same college or cracking a joke, offering to drive me somewhere when I can get a ride from anyone, shoving into me whenever the car turned, pouring my drink for me, then being obnoxious about it, making jokes about me and my car, grabbing my knee, trying to tickle me, offering to drive me home so I can stay later, stealing her phone so you could text me, always coming to stand by me, pretending you're going to attack me in the pool.. I love every second of it, and I wish I didn't have to hide it. Then there's the times when you just, completely ignore me. But, I guess it's not fair to count that, because sometimes I ignore you.

I never thought a guy like you was possible for me. And that only makes me want you more.


I find it so funny that just a few months ago Justin brought me by Food Basics so he could say hi, and I wanted nothing to do with you or anyone you were with. I sat in the car, praying that he wouldn't make me get out to meet you. now I spend almost every day with everyone that was there that night. I remember him calling through the window, "Hey, come out here and meet..!" And I remember thinking, "Fuck. Shoot me now, please." I felt so awkward. Like you guys were all just laughing at me. I don't even know why I felt that way. I just, didn't belong. I guess first impressions aren't always right. Because when first I wanted nothing to do with you, now I hope and hope that you'll show up.